Father’s Day 2021: A Letter to Hanes, Cohen, and BB #3

Dear Hanes, Cohen, and BB #3,

I wrote you a year ago on this day, and thought I would keep the tradition going: to write to you boys, about how much I love you, about all you’ve accomplished in the last year, and how thankful I am to be your Dad. Like last year’s letter, I also want to discuss some current events that you might not understand for many more years, but are important nonetheless. So bear with me on that. I’ve also added the soon-to-be-born BB #3 to this letter. He hasn’t been born yet, as of this writing, but he’s due any minute now. 🤗

Firstly, Hanes and Co: even though you’re both a bit under the weather today, I want you to know I am so proud of you both. This last year has been quite a year, as we dealt with all the germs. But you two did an amazing job: Hanes, you in kindergarten, staying safe and making the best of the various learning models and making new friends; and Cohen, you with Mommy as you two navigated safety protocols while still doing so many fun activities at home and seeing friends at the park. Hanes, you had a fantastic season with TBall, getting better and better with each game, and making a bunch of new friends. And you’re back to swimming and playing golf now that the weather has gotten warmer, which is always super fun. Co, you don’t hold back for a second in your desire to keep up with your older brother. You are still our “Bruiser” who fearlessly rides scooters and a big boy bike. But you also already have a good baseball swing off the tee, and you love going to the driving range. I love your fearlessness about life, Co. Super fun.

I also cherish the things about your personalities that have developed over the last year. Hanes, you really are our first-born, taking new adventures in stride while starting to show Cohen the ropes on all the things you both are capable of doing. You’re also wickedly smart with an amazing memory, and it’s been so great to see you succeed academically this year. You’ve made some wonderful friends at school with your kindness and love of sports. You make me smile with all the fun you have. Just know, with school, that you don’t have to be perfect, and that, as Grandma and Grandpa always said to me, “Just do your best and have fun.”

Co, you’re a character, in all the best ways. You are so smart too, and you don’t miss anything that Hanes does that you can do too. You also make me laugh with your playfulness and jokes, and you terrify me with your fearlessness when it comes to riding bikes and scooters. The thing I admire most about you right now is that whenever you fall, you get right back up – despite the scrapes on your knees and/or elbows – and you keep on going. You have that Carey determination. It’s such a good lesson for me as your dad: to know that it’s ok to fall, and that strength is found in getting back up and keeping going. I also love how much you’re enjoying the pool these days. Nothing better than a pool on a hot day, and I love that you love that too.

BB #3: I have no idea what you’re going to be like, as you’ve been growing in Mommy’s belly for the last 9 months and you could be born any minute now. Just know that you are already so loved by not only Mommy and I and Hanes and Co, but also by our whole extended family and our network of friends. You are coming into a strong, healthy, supportive, and loving family, and I can’t wait to meet you on your birthday!

I also want to tell you a few things that are happening currently that you might not fully understand right now, but are important for you to know. First, we are winning the fight against the germs through amazing vaccines, and I can’t wait for the day when we can vaccinate you three as well. It’s been a hard year with the germs, but brighter days are ahead. Also, we are so thankful, as a family, for the brilliant scientists who created the vaccines, and the front line workers (especially our teachers and medical professionals) who have braved the germs to help us be healthy and productive this year.

Secondly, we have a new president now, and while I don’t agree with him on everything, I’m thankful for him – as he is a really good mix of progressive policies and a measured personality. We’re at a really interesting time in our government as we come out of this season with the germs, and I think we’ve really learned that our government and our economy needs to work for ALL Americans – not just for those at the top. We’ll see what happens in the months ahead as we try to forge a more just America after this pandemic.

Lastly, this month we celebrate two big celebrations in our country: Pride and Juneteenth. With Pride, we celebrate the LGBTQ+ community and their history of standing up for their right to be who they are and love who they love. It’s a great celebration for all of us because it reminds us that God knit each of us in our mother’s womb, and that who we are and who we love is gift from God that must be cherished – especially in the face of any discrimination. We also celebrate Juneteenth to honor the setting free of those that had been enslaved here in our country. This is a big day for our Black friends, and we want to do everything we can to be an ally to our Black friends. And Juneteenth was just made a federal holiday, so yay! Both Pride and Juneteenth are celebrations of the freedom that is due every person, and they remind us that we ALL have been created in the image of God and are loved unendingly by Him.

That’s all I have for this Father’s Day. Like I said, I’m so proud of you boys. I love you so much. And BB #3: I can’t wait to meet you!

It’s the greatest gift in the world to be your Dad. Thanks for being such great boys.

Love you boys with everything I’ve got,


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